Bursts Of Joy

This morning I awoke really early-thinking about my addiction to eating. About the little bursts of joy that I get from certain foods. How I still crave that every day. Every minute of every day. I do not know how to release it. How to experience joy in other ways-ways that are real every day ways. Pure brain joy that is.

I have been wanting to un-plug consciously but not knowing how to do it. I read, eat, watch tv. Sex has not been that good lately. I like it but it’s not awesome. I don’t think I need to work on techniques so much as more change from within. That is my new theme-looking within. I just am not doing it a lot. Always looking out.

I miss teaching too. Family education, adult education-I love who I am when I am teaching. I want to do that too!

That brings me to the To Do list. Doing Doing Doing. Always doing or NOT doing. Dominated by doing.

Blessed Be For Today.

• Bursts of Joy Surround Me!
• I Enjoy Doing Joyful Things!
• I Deserve Joy!

Hungry Soul-Eating Mouth

So hard. I don’t know what I really want. I overate a lot during Xmas. I do not want to give my power away any more. I get depressed rather than expressing my truth because I am scared to or it seems pointless. My soul is hungry. Just not sure what for.

It’s time to learn some lessons

I’ve been having a big fat pitty party for myself for about 5 months. Something bad happened to me. I gained weight. I felt really sorry for myself and depressed. And then…

-My husband and I got closer

-I re-learned that my identity is the not same as my weight and my true friends  love me no matter what

-I re-learned that I am a goddess no matter what

-I started therapy again and am grappling with some issues that have plagued me for years. They did not magically go away just because some fat went away.

-I am coming to grips with the fact that there is no “right” way to live life-some ways are preferable but we just do what we can

-I am getting the help that I needed in a way that I did not know I could get

-I have amazing people in my life who can really contribute to me if I let them

-I want to be happy-joyful and at peace-not miserable-even when I’m tired

-I am still here and at the end of the day-i think that’s a good (preferable) thing

So I am dusting myself off-rolling up my sleeves and getting to work!

Sex-Priestess

I just noticed that I am listed under WP search on blogs about sex priestesses. This is so wonderful but reminds me how far away from that I’ve gotten. I’ve possible gone so far underground that I disspeared! I want to say that I believe that being a sex priestess, or a sex goddess is something that ALL women are capable of. It took me a lot of work to get here. Not saying I have no where else to go-but in that area-things are amazing. I’ve just gotten a bit shy about being too explicit online. Even under my pseodonym, “GoddessLady”.

It’s a shame that in this modern world women still have to be ashamed, or hide their sexuality. Or else, if they have issues with it-there is little support for them. As far as I’m concerned every women should be having sacred and amazing and orgasmic sex regularly-with herself and with her partner. This is how we were made!

So many marriages and relationships lose this component and the overall voice that we hear is that, “that’s normal”. But it’s not. Just ask any animal that is overwhelmed with the urge to mate. We are animals. We need to be mating to be fully human. Goddess gave us the sacred ability to enjoy our sexuality even when a partner is not present. This divine gift is one that is part of our animal/human nature and one that we “should” be taking advantage of regularly.

Unless there is a short term medical or emotional issue-every woman should be experiencing orgasms on a regular basis. I’m talking daily or several times a week. MINIMUM! I say should here not to make anyone wrong but to bring home the point that just as if you were limping for years-you would say, huh-I wonder why I limp all the time? If you are not orgasmic alone and/or with partner-you can say, huh, I wonder why?

The cure? Is different for all women but usually involved reawakening their love of themselves, healing their past sexual trauma, claimin their sexuality as their own and some sort of regular rituals that contribute to well being and joy. Some examples are dancing, self pleasure, buying pretty things, therapy, personal growth, spirtual education. It is usually a mix of the intellectual, the physical and the spiritual.

We are blessed animals-let us nurture our areas of sexual shame and disability and heal. How wonderful would the world be if every woman, everywhere in the world was empowered sexually and spiritually? Men would be happier, children would be happier.

So – when you take time  for joy, pleasure and self-you are making the world a better place.

-Goddess blessings.

Difference Between A Food Lover And A Food Addict

I recently bought a saxaphone-it is my new hobby. I am still looking for a teacher. I named her Ella (the sax not the teacher). Anyway, I was talking to the petite sales girl about why I decided to start playing. I was thinking about some activities that I could do to replace the actual vibrational sensation and pleasure that I get from eating-now that I’m not doing much of that anymore and playing a wind instrument came to mind. With my love of jazz-the sax seemed the logical choice.

She said that she also loved food and although you couldn’t tell by looking at her she loved so many different things about food. It really got me thinking. What is the difference between a food lover or foodie and a food addict?

Well-I think that a foodie really loves the food itself while a food addict loves the way that the food makes her feel. When I think about most of the foods that I crave-it is the feeling that goes with eating the food that I think most about. Not that I dont’ like the taste but the taste is only valued as it pairs with the feeling. Thus I am an addict and she a foodie. Seemed like a big revelation to me.