Bursts Of Joy

This morning I awoke really early-thinking about my addiction to eating. About the little bursts of joy that I get from certain foods. How I still crave that every day. Every minute of every day. I do not know how to release it. How to experience joy in other ways-ways that are real every day ways. Pure brain joy that is.

I have been wanting to un-plug consciously but not knowing how to do it. I read, eat, watch tv. Sex has not been that good lately. I like it but it’s not awesome. I don’t think I need to work on techniques so much as more change from within. That is my new theme-looking within. I just am not doing it a lot. Always looking out.

I miss teaching too. Family education, adult education-I love who I am when I am teaching. I want to do that too!

That brings me to the To Do list. Doing Doing Doing. Always doing or NOT doing. Dominated by doing.

Blessed Be For Today.

• Bursts of Joy Surround Me!
• I Enjoy Doing Joyful Things!
• I Deserve Joy!

Sharpening The Saw

I was counseled to learn how to “sharpen my saw”. This is a concept from the 7 habits… as it was explained-we are constantly sawing but never stop to sharpen the saw-to relax and rejuvenate. I realized that I judge that. Stopping. Resting. Doing something fun. It must be useful, or educational or else I must be sick to stop. Other than eating-I feel like my tool kit for relaxing is empty. Tonight-I consciously did not eat-but was so wound up-I did not know how to relax.

I had a few drinks. Two. And watched a movie. It is midnight and I’m still up. Relaxing is not my strength. I did not work tonight and did something I enjoyed-I look forward to honing the skill of sharpening my saw. I want to enjoy life-just not sure how!

It’s time to learn some lessons

I’ve been having a big fat pitty party for myself for about 5 months. Something bad happened to me. I gained weight. I felt really sorry for myself and depressed. And then…

-My husband and I got closer

-I re-learned that my identity is the not same as my weight and my true friends  love me no matter what

-I re-learned that I am a goddess no matter what

-I started therapy again and am grappling with some issues that have plagued me for years. They did not magically go away just because some fat went away.

-I am coming to grips with the fact that there is no “right” way to live life-some ways are preferable but we just do what we can

-I am getting the help that I needed in a way that I did not know I could get

-I have amazing people in my life who can really contribute to me if I let them

-I want to be happy-joyful and at peace-not miserable-even when I’m tired

-I am still here and at the end of the day-i think that’s a good (preferable) thing

So I am dusting myself off-rolling up my sleeves and getting to work!

What would I do if everything is already fixed?

I have been thinking about what is next for me. I feel like I’ve spent a some time worrying about the world and women and trying to “fix” what i think needs to be fixed. I want to help women heal their self images and sexual identities. However, I want to stop looking at the world through the lense of “what’s wrong” and instead accept that everyone is exactly where they need to be at the moment. If that is the case-if I am not fixing-then what is next for me spiritually.

I want to learn how to be connected with spirit more in my every day life and how to do more activities that feel spiritually nourishing.

I am also looking at my volunteer commitments. I want my volunteer time to be more aligned with my personal commitments and not just with what “needs to be done”.

I just feel like I spend so much time fixing-it’s not fun and nothing ever is fixed! Including me! I can’t help but hear the voices of all my years of personal growth training and reading-everything is just as it should be!

Keep in mind that I’m not at the moment addressing the big picture issues that seem “wrong” such as neglect and abuse, human trafficking, etc… more the issues of suburban American malaise.

Right now-a good nights sleep would be helpful too!

An new beginning or continuance

Today I invited a bunch of my goddess friends to subscribe to my blog. I invite those that I know in person and those who are sisters online! The more that we can empower each other the better!

-GL

Goddess Ritual Can Be Just Doing Something You Like

Today I really struggled with getting my “work” done. I was sitting at my desk trying hard to concentrate on important tasks related to my business and I just wanted to do something for the goddess in me. I stopped working on my business and spent some time working on this blog. I spent a few hours trying to get the “subscribe” feature working the way I want and changing a few other thing.

I felt a lot better-so much better that I even did some housework (always a sign of either happiness or insanity). I sometimes think that the only way that I can honor Goddess is by doing ritual or creating something unique with my hands and sometimes I’m just not in the mood for that! I feel guilty that I want to wait for motivation-but that is the way I am-I want to wait for motivation.

So-I feel a lot better and more optimistic and everything that HAD to get done today did.

I didn’t kill anyone in my family (including myself) and I even closed a deal and learned some new skills.

So-maybe ritual can be just doing something that I LIKE doing-not always what i SHOULD be doing. If ritual becomes another SHOULD then what good is it?

BTW-As a side note-I will say that part of what I did was watch the season finale of True Blood-love that show!

An Economy Based On Sin

So the Christians have been in charge for a long time-and now we have based our entire economy on sin. We are waiting for lots of people to make more money so that they can buy more cars, buy more clothes, buy more expensive electronics, eat more, drink more-when commerce picks up-so does the economy. But our commerce-the most lucrative parts of our economy-are all based on sin. The sins are lust, greed, sloth, gluttony, envy, pride, wrath-basically all the things that make our great country profit.

If we all had a transformation and healing and started eating healthy-both portions and quality, not smoking, drinking mostly water, drinking a reasonable amount of alcohol, saving our money, engaging in consensual and healthy sexual relationships, saving our money, not polluting our environment, focusing on creativity and love instead of greed-well literally the entire world economy would collapse. We would still consume- we are human after all-but on a much different scale. Millions of people would be out of work.

So-the Christians preach a good life but still as a society have created an economy that only thrives if the 7 sins are alive and well.

BTW-before you get all upset-I’m not against Christians-I’m married to one in fact. I just think that it’s ironic and something to note. Just as with disease one can choose to over medicate but continue bad habits or change lifestyle and priorities and heal-so we can choose with our society and world.

As a singular Goddess trying to thrive-I do not know how to make this happen-only that the more we focus on true health, joy, passion, bliss, self reliance, love, learning, expression – maybe we can influence the world. I love Kuan Yin-the goddess of compassion, empathy and rebellion-I will pray to her for today!

-Blessed Be!

Update from Goddess-land

How is it that I can feel so empowered one minute and so empty the next? I don’t know how to carry the feeling of divinity into my evenings. I sit at home and feel lonely. I don’t feel like creating art, I don’t feel like working. I don’t feel like reading or watching TV. I have to be careful if I do watch TV because if I watch anything depressing-it haunts me. My life is boring and unsatisfying yet I’m ok. My husband and I are happy – my son is healthy. Hubby’s job is going well as is my business. In this climate-it is wonderful. But… I don’t want to whine. I want to be empowered. I just feel everything but…

I want inspiration, motivation, excitement. I want to feel alive and joyful. I want to feel safe too. Can i have it all?

Can I stop thinking about myself for a moment or two? URGH!

This too is Goddessness-someday I will look back on this time and realize how much I learned-I want to enjoy it now though.

Police In India Trained In Goddesses To Improve Male-Female Relations

This is an interesting response to a horrifying problem…

Chandigarh, July 1: Goddesses, save women from Haryana police.

The force, struggling to wipe rape blots, has turned to goddesses to keep the men in uniform from preying on women.

Crash courses in religious studies, with an emphasis on goddesses, have been lined up to help the personnel “understand” women better. More

If teaching men about Goddess prevents rape-possibly teaching men and women all over the world will help us all to respect ourselves/each other more.

Update and the rules for men

All,

Sorry that I have been remiss in posting. Been very busy with work (which is good) and had to take a break due to little things like vacation and life. But all is well-Goddess is with us all each and every minute and I am no exception. I have been praying lots to Kuan Yin-I feel that she is my patron Goddess right now. Asking for healing around money energy, fear of friendship with women. All is well with hubby!

I read this internet list years ago and loved it then-a friend just sent it to me again and I love it again! It is called The Man Rules. I believe that a true Goddess loves and respects men for being men. I am definitely no man-hater! I love them and mine! I rearranged them a bit to reflect my own personal feelings on which are the most important. So here they are…

-Goddess Lady

The Man Rules

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

2. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Men are NOT mind readers.

3. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

4. Sunday sports, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

6. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, hockey, or golf.

9. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. Crying is blackmail.

12. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

13. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

14. If you ask a question that you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer that you don’t want to hear.

15. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

16. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

17. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. You have enough clothes.

20. You have too many shoes.

21. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.