Update and the rules for men

All,

Sorry that I have been remiss in posting. Been very busy with work (which is good) and had to take a break due to little things like vacation and life. But all is well-Goddess is with us all each and every minute and I am no exception. I have been praying lots to Kuan Yin-I feel that she is my patron Goddess right now. Asking for healing around money energy, fear of friendship with women. All is well with hubby!

I read this internet list years ago and loved it then-a friend just sent it to me again and I love it again! It is called The Man Rules. I believe that a true Goddess loves and respects men for being men. I am definitely no man-hater! I love them and mine! I rearranged them a bit to reflect my own personal feelings on which are the most important. So here they are…

-Goddess Lady

The Man Rules

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

2. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Men are NOT mind readers.

3. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

4. Sunday sports, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

6. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, hockey, or golf.

9. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. Crying is blackmail.

12. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

13. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

14. If you ask a question that you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer that you don’t want to hear.

15. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

16. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

17. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. You have enough clothes.

20. You have too many shoes.

21. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

The Pee Circle

I’ve invented a new distinction in friendship. There is the outer circle, the inner circle and then there is the pee circle. These are the goddesses who you pee in front of. Those friends who are close enough to just keep on talkin’ while you do your business. Thanx to the goddesses in my pee circle!

WAHM-Goddess-Dr. Doolittle-All at the same time!

OMGoddess! What a morning!

My kitten, Lilu, brought a chipmunk into the kitchen yesterday. It was alive and well. After a night of eating the pumpkin seeds we’d left out and holing up under our dishwasher, it was out this morning. I managed to trap it under a large plastic container and slid a plate underneath. I then released it into my neighborh’s yard. Phew. Lilu was pissed but I just let her go.

Then I was happily working away in my office with the door closed when I heard a loud commotion in the bathroom. I went to investigate and saw her in there with a live bird that immediately started to fly as soon as I popped my head in. I freaked, shrieked and shut the door with both of them in there.

Being the super powerful woman that I am, I started racking my brain for men in the neighborhood who work from home who could come over and save me. I couldn’t come up with anyone so I called hubby and demanded that he come home. He told me to open all the windows upstairs and let the bird find it’s way out.

F&ck! How is a goddess supposed to get sh*t done with this going on!

So I pack up my laptop and open every window and screen. Even the one with the beetle on it. When I told DH that it might come in, he assured me that a beetle in the house was better than a bird-easy for him to say when he is in his cushy office far far away.

I opened the bathroom door and saw the bird huddled on the floor behind it. Why would the bird not know to stay safe on top of the shower curtain rod? I guess that’s how my cat got it in the first place. Anyway, I grabbed Lilu and held her tight and yelled at her that I didn’t want her chipmunks, birds, squirells or anything else in my house and every time she brings and animal in she’s getting locked in a cage for an hour. I then locked her in her carrier in the garage.

I returned to the bathroom to find the bird imobile in the corner still. I went down and got the chipmunk rescue container and plate and brought them up. The bird started to take flight as I put the container down so one wing and the head was sticking out as I slid the plate underneath. I gently held it down and took it to one of the open windows. My heart was pounding at a mile a minute throughout all of this! Luckily-it was uninjured and flew away-I was afraid it might drop like a stone!

So, I, with the help of my divine supporters, managed to free two trapped animals today! (I wonder if this makes up for the fish that I killed in seventh grade?) And I also figured out how to punish my cat. What a WAHM (work at home mom) day! And it’s not even 11am yet! Back to work – saving the world one animal/website/blog entry at a time!

Thinking of a career change? Become a Lion Tamer!

This is soo funny! I love it-whenever I think of career change or any change in general! If we can’t laugh at ourselves-what’s the point?