I Cried When I Realized-No Post Op Nose Ring

I cried last night when I realized that I would not have a nose piercing anymore. I begged the Goddess forgiveness. I raged that my hubby was right. (I hate that!).

I couldn’t get it back in after surgery. It went almost all the way but the layer on the inside had healed. I didn’t go to Piercing Experience because I just couldn’t handle the pain. Today, it would hurt even more because it has pretty much healed all the way. It really hurt when I got it pierced. It made me cry. Then one night I ripped it out in my sleep and my nose swelled up and Padrick put it back in. That REALLY hurt. He was so great-I felt in love with him after how gentle he was with me. But now, I just can’t. Even though I just bought a new one. I just feel like my nose rejected it.

I like looking different. I also like looking the same. Basically, I like not being in pain. So I want to put a sign on my forehead that says, “I didn’t get rid of the piercing to look like everyone else or because hubby didn’t like it!” But, proving oneself with a piece of jewelry is an impossible task I guess. I don’t know.

Goddess does not want me to suffer. She wants me to be happy and does not need me to suffer for her. I’ve done enough of that. So has Jesus. I am already forgiven. I am already loved. I do not need to prove anything. I am dedicated to the Goddess in every woman and everywhere.

Entering A New Era Of Comfort

I am going to the hospital today to get my surgery. I had to take my nose jewelry out. I feel somewhat naked without it. I haven’t been without since I got it in a year ago when I dedicated myself to the Goddess. It was so tight that I had to go back to Piercing Experience to get it removed. It was a pink stone with purple titanium around it. I bought a new one-it is light green peridot with silver titanium. I was really stressed about it but the good thing is that the woman there showed me how to do it myself so now I am empowered. Plus I am over the phase of reclaiming pink and moving on to other colors.

So anyway, off I go to the hospital in about 30 minutes. I am nervous. Sort of about surgery, sort of about the whole big thing. Never again will I have the satisfaction of a eating a large meal and feeling stuffed and sort of sleepy and drugged. Never the comfort of a dozen donut holes and some donuts too. MMM-so good. I have suffered much for my comfort so now I will learn new ways to comfort that won’t end with me being too big to fit in an airplane seat. I am ready-I am willing-I am stepping into the unknown.

I pray to the Goddess to protect my son, to take care of me and to keep me safe. I want to be healthy and move on to the next challenge-or else just enjoy for a while. I don’t know, I just want to live a life not plagued by hunger and food obsession.

I want to say thank you to my wonderful friends and family who have shown their true colors and been amazing. Also, I want to send love out to my xBFF-The Empress and send her lots of love. I miss you.

Thank you-Blessed Be.